Saturday, December 25, 2010

Figuring out 'Jing Bells'

 The song was actually published under the name "One Horse Open Sleigh" and was written by James Lord Peirmont in 1857. The fact that it such an old song explains why so little of makes sense. The song doesn't even mention Christmas, or the holidays. The only clue that it has anything to do with Christmas is the fact that it talks about snow and bells. The songs was renamed "Jingle Bells" a couple of years later.

Dashing through the snow
In a one horse open sleigh
O'er the fields we go
Laughing all the way
Bells on bob tails ring
Making spirits bright
What fun it is to laugh and sing
A sleighing song tonight
I get the dashing through the snow, and yes, I admit, it would pretty fun to ride in a one horse open slay going up and down hills (for a little while). But I am guessing it's freaking cold outside. There isn't going to be much laughing (from me at least) if my fingers are numb and my snot is turning into a icicle. It's fun to laugh and sing, but really, we needed a song to sleigh to? Really, who even rides on horse drawn snow sleighs anyway. This is the way it should be done!

Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Jingle bells, jingle bells
Jingle all the way
Oh, what fun it is to ride
In a one horse open sleigh
Chorus is catchy. But it really goes against what seems to happen in the second verse.

A day or two ago
I thought I'd take a ride
And soon Miss Fanny Bright
Was seated by my side
The horse was lean and lank
Misfortune seemed his lot
We got into a drifted bank
And then we got upsot
This is where the song really gets crazy. Who in the world is Miss Fanny Bright? Sounds like the mean elementary teacher every one hated. Actually she was some comedian from the dark ages. Then, what moron gets a skinny horse to pull his sleigh? I could have told you that you would have gotten stuck.

As you see, the song really has almost nothing to do with Christmas, but don't let that ruin it for you!

Saturday, December 18, 2010

I Can't Decide

I can not decide which type of blog I should pursue.

Should it be a political blog? I enjoy politics. But I don't know that I have the smarts to write about it!

How about a funny blog? I like that, but funny about what? It needs to be gauged for a particular group, or type of humor.

I suppose it doesn't really matter. The blog will disappear into interwebs along with thousands of other blobs. I am only doing this so that I have something to do over Christmas break.

Smiley Face!

British Accents Make People Sound Smarter

Before you read any further, it is imperative that you read this entire post with a thick, proper British accent.

We are all au fait with the usage of British accents in American films to heighten the appearance of intelligence of a particular character. Or when in conversations with friends you decide to sound posh and cocky by making a snappy remark in a fine British accent. The British accent has proved to be quite useful in the United States just for making some one sound smarter. Does this mean that the British are inherently smarter than other English speakers because of their accent?


If you're have been taken back by the answer to that question, you would be shocked to know that I am taken back as well. From the extensive research of have performed on this topic I have found that the British are indeed smarter than Americans and other English speakers because of their accents! Please review the following evidences for my case with me.

First, England still has a monarchy! Think about it, the British monarch once ruled the world. The kings and queens of England were considered to be the most powerful people in the known world at times. They ruled with such iron fists that they even punished animals that misbehaved. I can just see it now, "Your goat is being arrested from treason. During the royal procession, it pooed right in front of his majesty. The goat will be sentenced to 48 hours in the pillory. Get the little girl who called the his majesty fat out, the goat must be placed in the pillory immediately!"

We can thank the British accent for tea (actually the Chinese, but the British really took off with it). Could you imagine someone of drinking a cup of tea with out asking you to have a seat without a British accent? Tea simply wouldn't be the same with out a British accent to go along with it. "Oh dear, you look dreadful! Vincent, please bring this young lad a cup of tea. Quickly now!"

The biggest thing the British accent has done for the world is the creation of the double-decker bus. What a genius idea. London needed more buses, but didn't have enough roads, so some one decided to place onther deck on the buses they already had. It's marvelous. The man who came up with idea for the double-decker bus couldn't have done it with out his British accent.

As you can see, so many amazing things can be attributed to the British accent as well as the fact that it gives superior intelligence and civility to those who speak with the accent. I don't care how ugly or rude you are, a British accent makes it sound as though the person was speaking to with the best manners available. Those are just a few of the things that are a result of the British accent. Not to mention the people the British accent has produced! take a look at this list of people the British accent has given us.

Sir Winston Churchill
William Shakespeare
John Lennon
Margaret Thatcher
David Beckham
King Arthur
Julie Andrews
and so many more.

And I can't help but end with one more list. A list of my favourite British words.
Jolly good

Oh rubbish, it's been a splendid time writing this smashing post, but this lad is in need of some new bloomers. Hope you have a jolly good day!